Tutorials have started this week.

It's getting a little bit busy now again n i shall say i'm kinda stressed out of time. Had been reading and reading as usual but it seemed that i have less time to enjoy now. and some modules, i'm going to have projects and papers soon.. school work is so stressful, but i'd jia you de!

Was toking wif zr a few days ago about the topic on "love". haha.. i duno what title i shall give la, but actually it brings insights to me huh.. zr hypothesized that.. if u like someone, and u hint the person, and assume that the person knows and it's a 50-50 situation, so there's a 50% of the person not knowing. so, what if the person knows? there's also a 25% chance that he/she may choose to hint back to u, and that's also the fact that there's a 25% of not hinting. and when the person hints back, u need to sense it, and there's a 12.5% that u can sense it and another 12.5% that u cant. so, keeping quiet, as zr puts it, will only lead to 12.5% of success as the probability gets lower and lower. Supportin this hypothesis is the fact that if u propose, the person knows it, 100%. and what's behind the story is the matter of reject or accept. Quick n decisive. Save the time n trouble.. Efficiency saves a ton..

Well, as for my case, i was tokin about what if the person knows, and what happens later on.. so, let's say u give it all in and u propose to the person n now the person knows it 100%. what's the consequences? there's stil a 50-50 chance of the person rejecting u n acceptin u. Ok, reject, and it's gone case.. u need to face with three kinds of situation.. the person starts avoidin u (16.7%), the person change in attitude (usually to bad: 16.7%) and u guys remain as frens (16.7%)..so what if the person accepts? there's also the fact that there's 25% the person likes u n u guys can starting seeing each other, but there's also a 25% that the person chose to remain as frens first. So, there is a 33.4% of disadvantage, 41.7% remainin as frens (and might as well dun risk it in the first place) and a mere 25% of workin out. Such a slim chance! So what if u guys get together? there's a high probability of ~80% that u guys dun work out in the end.. so, i shall conclude that love is a battle between the sexes, and it's an emotionally painful and time-consumin matter that humans like us are always seemed to be facing.. risk it, get pain n enjoy the fruits of success, or get disappointed..

Haha.. those are some craps la.. but dun u think that it seemed quite true too?

Starting to adapt to the life in sch and was not expecting much from alot of things and i'm not in to get myself disappointed.. (*chiyo u may know what i mean) Life's hard and i really have to concentrate on the fact that i must get at least a 3.5 this semester.. this is a goal for myself.. no one force me to do it, but i really aim to do it and i want to get it!! will jia you de!!

To all who've been reading this:

New year is coming.. take care and enjoy ur life hard.. nothin lasts forever.. find ways to keep urself happy.. so what if u climbed the ladder of success, just to realise that u lost it all on ur way up? time nv waits.. Be urself..

Had a weird dream last night.

Our house turned into a cafe. Or should i say that's not our current house. We moved to a new setting, and it's on the third floor, near some busy streets where there are other shops below us. People pass by this building frequently.

We're so excited on decorating the house into a nice little cafe so ppl can come in and have their breakfast. It was kinda stress coz we're on the third floor, so gotta make our new cafe all the more attractive so ppl will bother to climb up to the third floor to visit us. Our store wasnt huge, so is our cakes. I think it was the first day, that's why.

I'm standing behind this counter, behind me got a huge fridge and i think it housed all the cakes. Our living room had turned into a posh lookin little cafe with two little garden benches and a carpet at the centre. Further down, a low coffee table with some board games on it and a fill plushy seats on the floor surrounding the table.

I remembered we're decorating the walls and we kinda make it look artistic. With a blue wall, and red and dark purple paintings hanging on it. The paintings are huge and there's this lighting which makes the wall looked so classic. But hey, it's a dream. I'm writing this down coz i'm so amazed by what i'd dreamt and yet can stil rmbr it so clearly.

So there came the first customers. It's a family, with children and a maid. Typical sight u'd see on a sunday morning. I wonder how they know we're here.. but they came still, and suddenly, i'm left alone to serve this family. In this cafe.. ALONE. I duno why. But i did, brought the menu to them and they mumbled what they want. So i went to the fridge and good enough, what they wanted was in there. But instead of cakes, they have become kuehs! I duno why. Those typical kuehs u ate from the kopitiam. and the plates i served them with arent posh lookin either. So i went on to serve them and they ate. In the dream, i was hoping that they like the food so they will come again.

Just then, another set of customers came in. I din really recall this part, or shall i say my dream kinda skipped a few parts. It always happen like this in a dream. Just a *poof* and u're off to the next scene, making u figure it out all by urself. So i dreamt that my mom was complaining to me that the maid named "yati" (actually she's my ah ma's maid) isnt doing work. LOL.. so she wanted me to think of some stuff for her to do, and she hurried away.. to duno where.. LOL.. so i saw yati there, in another room, with a new set of tables, and i was thinkin, is our house that big? and in some parts of my consciousness i was thinkin to myself that it's just a dream, what do u expect.

I din noe what i can tel yati to do. Let her go down n distribute pamphlets? I was thinkin that we din prepare any pamphlets for her to distribute so might as well let it be.. den.....

I think i woke up. Or maybe I'd dreamt more.. I just know that my head is kinda painful when i finally woke up and the sun's burnin hot at my butt.. LOL.. almost noon.. How long have i slept??

New insights.....

Weekend again!

Had been so busy for the past two weeks.. been reading and reading and playing and reading.. well, as always, i love the feeling of going home and not caring about anything else from sch, but i just cant afford that. stil gotta read my notes during travelling and i wonder if ppl will recognise me as the gal who always got some papers wif her and other den alightin n boarding, her eyes are glued to the papers all these while.. well, i shouldnt have cared.. if i din study on train, i'd just be too tired to continue the rest of my stuffs at home..

Had been rather ahead of time, but i think i'm giving myself too much stress. what if all these stress pays off to nothing and another set of sad-lookin results? i really hope i can do better this time..

Went for a little pop gathering ytdy on sat.. well, it's kinda nice.. long time nv see each other le.. went to clarke quay, den to dhoby den to orchard.. lol.. well, we din really do much.. just walk around, eat n look.. and stuff like that... hmm.. was realli tired when i got home.. everyone seemed tired with the life they're having.. seemed like working is always better than studyin.. u dun have to carry the stuff back wif u..

CNY is comin.. oh ya.. those who have ordered the loveletters.. real thanks to u guys.. my grandma will be very appreciated as that was an extra income for an old lady's new year.. well, i duno y some choose not to reply when they saw my request.. and some of them are real close ones or those who have usually asked me for some favours.. it's always like that.. good stuff, better count them in, when it's a troublesome task, no replies and i'm meant to be ignored.. well, thanks for these frens.. u'd thought me a lesson on how well our frenship is to be treasured and how frens can be ignored in times of need. thank you..


To: PAM

Hey! thanks on sat! was real nice that we can stil gather out of our hectic schedules.. let's meet up again soon! enjoy ur one-day week this week!!!

To: Chiyo-chan

Hey babe! new year is coming! let's save up to buy more new year stuff! n hopefully u invite me to ur hse.. hahaaha.. and for the time-being, let's jia you n crammed all the sch stuffs into our brain! jia you in audition too!! u're amateur alr rite!! ^_^

Second week of school.

Well, nothing better to look forward to except waiting for the days to pass. Shall thanks HJ n Kel for their company n the joy they bring to me these days. I'd be so lonely w/o them..Thanks HJ and thanks Kel! I hate wednesday.. got my core module which i'm taking alone. and from wat i see, i wun make a friend there.. They just dont appear to be in my frequency.

Well, life is so short, why be bothered rite? but will stil jia you de la..

JIA YOU!!

Happy bday to my Daddy!

Bought a fruit cake for daddy coz he love fruits.. haha.. nice.. dad was real happy n this was the first time we celebrate dad's birthday wif pillow.. fed pillow abit of the cake.. now we kept everythin for tml n he's following me around!! he wants more cake!! zzz..

End of the first week, with the celebration of my dad's big day.. Haha.. thanks for all my frens who have wished him well too.. ^^

Well, end of the week.. how do i feel? nice.. it's stil quite nice before the whole sch thingy really start.. like term papers.. tutorials all this.. it'd drive me crazy.. shall start rushing my way to be ahead of time now.. treasure the time! i oso din touch audition for a week le.. amazing huh.. haha.. but just now played a few games.. n i find it so hard to lv up.. hmm..

Continuous and repetitive days of photocopyin n printing.. hopefully i can cram all this notes in my head on time.. will jia you de! it's so bad that i hav to major alone.. hopefully i can find a nice fren there!

Tutorial balloting starts.. prayin that i got my ideal slots.. if not i'd be a dead meat.. had planned so hard for it! i dun wan my plans crashed!

New semester.. new adaptations.. well.. i'm someone who's resistant to change. so, i'm learning how to change.

Time's quite packed and i have not really get used to goin to sch. Will feel so tired n sick of travelling. Now at least i have start my learning on time, but i really dislike studying. it's like i have not enjoy life since i entered pri one.. everytime, there is this stress of study.. study.. study.... and i haven touched audition for ages.. was so busy...

Hopefully i can get to meet new n nice frens in my chi major modules.. shall i go for the studies or lang? must really make a decision this sem..

Finally, the last day of my holidays..

The start of next semester tomorrow.. ok.. so which modules am i takin this sem?

1) intro to ch lang (takin wif hj n kel)
2) general his of china (by myself.. it's my lv2 ch mod)
3) jap 2 (hj n kel... i am starting to be relieved that i took jap2 this sem if not i duno what to take anymore.. i cant continue taking my ch lv2 modules coz i'm not sure i wanna major in ch studies or ch lang.. they're diff)
4) intro to psy (hj n kel)
5) employee management in spore (it's an ss, taking wif hj n kel)..

So, hj n kel n me are having so many modules together.. that's nice.. n i think this is the only time we can enjoy ourselves like this.. coz from next year sem 1 onwards, we will be heading our own ways.. not clearing general modules like this anymore..

Another resolution for this year ahead: Learning to be independent..

not in the sense of learning to handle things by myself coz i alr know that, but to live happily by takin modules myself.. hopefully, if i'm lucky, i can get to know more ppl and meet nice frens from there.. well, it's sad that you can nv get to meet ppl easily who share the total interest as u and that u feel nth wrong n no awkwardness wif them.. like those frens in sec sch.. met up with them, and that's the most enjoyable part of life, coz there's really this mo4 qi4, where u dun need to worry how they react coz u have alr knw each others by heart.. argh.. wat ever the case, it's time to grow out of the comfort zone..

School is starting next week!! I don't want...... enjoyin the last of my holidays..

Had been quite busy these days.. met up wif WL on thur n this is the first time we went to sing kbox at lot1. quite nice.. went for the k lunch n i love the lunch set there. there's this whole huge piece of unagi inside wif octopus, salad n pudding, plus the rice.. very filling.. ate and sing.. enjoyin life.. went on to k pool and we played for 5 rounds of games! this is the first time i played so many rounds at one go, but it has really helped to improve the skills. went on to zonex and we wanted to play those "catching-the-toys" game.. duno what is it called la.. if anyone knows please tel me. haha.. so we missed n threw ten bucks there.. ex.. will nv go there again coz the cashier oso quite dao.. went to take neoprint.. haha.. long time nv take neoprint together le. quite nice machines but a pity that the printing effect isnt very good. went on to shop around abit before going home. this is one thing i like about going out during sch term weekdays.. it's a pleasure and heaven with so little ppl.. n u enjoy the peace urself..

while we walked past TS, there's this new movie vcd release n they're playing the movie on the outside. the movie was "the Host" and have any of u seen this movie before? well, it was showing the part, which i think is quite gross dat a dinosaur-liked creature with a weird head, the size of a huge truck is chasing the ppl on the streets. and i duno what place it is, but there's quite a huge open landing, like a park or smth, or a theme park? not very sure.. so everyone was runnin around n screaming. so this creature is chasing these ppl and suddenly it shows that most ppl feel that it's more safer to hide inside a large container. so most ppl ran inside. and it's a very large container, can house like 80 ppl? so this container seemed the safest spot for the ppl in this large clearing. then there's this lady, who was runnin from the creature, she wanted to get into the container, but there was a couple of steps so she tripped n fell. just at that moment, the creature that was behind her gave up the chase on her n jumped into the container instead, which housed so many ppl! so the lady was safe n she ran to a safe spot, but the movie shows the container rumbling on its spot and more screams inside. and whatever kinds of savage is inside is up to ur imagination. at first, a couple of lucky ones managed to run out of the container and escape. but the rest, i duno, and this container, there is another opening on the other side, but it's locked with an opening on the middle. so there's this pushin n screamin at this edge and hands were forcing the gate open but to no avail. and blood is pouring out from inside, showing that most unlucky ones have been eaten away.. gross.. many ppl cried as their end was near, and there's this man who wanted to save them, and he managed to use some tools to force the gate open, so many ppl fell out and along with some blood-stained, and half eaten corpse too. so scary.. the creature jumped out, and continued its chase on its other preys...

very gross show, but it attracted me for a full 5 mins.. staring at the show wif my mouth opened.. erm, if anyone of u have seen this show, mind letting me know the story? haha..

Later on meetin pam n HM again for a gatherin at MS.

Daddy feeds our arowana, namely "xiao long" with frogs these days.. little frogs with none the size bigger than your thumb.. so.. some frogs are lucky.. they escaped and i wonder how they did it coz they need to pass through a series of covered tiles.. so, there's just these few who are smart enough.. n they ended on the floor.. looking black n slimy.. at first, whenever we saw that thing from far, we thought it was pillow's poo.. on a closer look, it's the frog.. so.. these "ah wa" loved to escape from xiao long.. but they'd soon be back in the tank again.. one day, dad found this frog, so different from the others.. amongst the other frogs on the waiting list for xiao long's daily menu..

this frog got no fore legs at all.. just two strong hind legs.. poor thing.. n this frog is small.. i think it's stil a baby, or on its developmental stage to an adult..so, daddy spared him a life.. he took this frog out n let it live with the guppies, tiny goldfish and a tiny lobster with an artificial grass bedding. It has been nearly two weeks.. n this frog is stil alive.. n it's getting bigger.. really am sad to see that even frogs can grow to be deformed n handicapped.. but, this has helped him become a pet instead of a staple for the fish.. wish "ah wa" well..

I'm getting used to silence.. well, the place where i live, quite a quiet place.. with not much noise, screams n engines.. so.. now when i get to crowded places, i feel uneasy.. when there're cousins n brats who came to visit, i get headaches.. now i'm a fren with peace.. have been so adapted to it that a slight noise is enough to piss me off, especially in trains in weekends.. Hmm.. dun think this is a good thing anyway..

Biddings again.. Hope we can get our modules smoothly.. i've show-handed for my arts gem.. n it's an advance bidding.. if i stil cant get it, well, nth to say.. life's so insecure huh...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Resolutions for the new year:
1) Get good grades in sch
2) Lose weight
3) Audition Lv 30
4) Learn to cook more dishes
5) Save money (5k?)
6) Everyone stays healthy n happy
7) Smooth year ahead
8) World peace

Currently, nothing more to think of.. But isnt it fast? 2007 is here.. n i'm headin on to age 20.. which i dun look forward to at all.. finished cancellin the dates of my 2006 calendar.. well, starting a new one again, n this year's a sony calendar.. Black look.. hmm..

Shall recall what happened for the past few days.. well, went to HM's hse on sat, along wif pillow n my cousin.. n pam.. took a cab there n we wanted pillow n shadow (HM's) to get to know each other.. too bad SL last min got smth on, if not, her ahboy can come too.. well, shadow is abit shy n pillow's a bit too hyper.. he played wif the kids there instead.. n shadow always run away when pillow comes closer.. lol.. went up to hm's hse, n it's nice.. n my cousin said it resembles the genting's hotel.. lol.. well, left the place ard evening.. thanks to HM! really enjoy the visit.. ^^

Sunday.. family day, that's what my dad wanted now.. a family gathering on the first week of each month's Sunday.. went to IMM.. it was new year's eve though.. super crowded.. they wanted to shop at Daiso.. n well, spent quite some time there n they bought a whole load of items.. hmm.. went hm after dinner n dad left for a mj game at fren's hse.. so left the 3 of us for an 'exciting' countdown.. so new year arrives, n heard a few bangalas at the void deck screaming their language n enjoying the moments of the arrival of the new year.. lol..

Well, i really wish that i can pick up the mood to study again.. sch is finally starting n there just seemed nth to look forward to.. shall treasure the next sem wif hj coz we're takin 4 modules together! but.. next few years ahead, we'd be busy wif our own core modules.. well.. heard that sc fac students are doin well in their exams.. getting a cap score of 4 seemed easy for them.. well, i dun think arts students did very well.. asked ard, din really heard of ppl who got a cap score of more than 3.. that's quite sad.. hope next year we can all do better! Gambatte ne!